Real Men Have Beards…and Chest Hair!

03 Oct

It’s simple really.  Men have beards and chest hair…boys don’t.  Now personally, I like my men rugged and real…not some scrawny guy that looks like he’s 12 and can’t grow facial hair.  Don’t get me wrong…there is some pretty eye candy out there with smooth chests and faces…but when you want raw and abandoned passion, you don’t picture pretty boys with smooth chests.  You picture a scruffy or bearded rough and rugged man…something like this:

In fact, to many, Will Riker is the epitome of manliness…and it has everything to do with the beard.  In fact, the beard is so powerful that it affected the entire show.  Everyone knows there is season 1…Pre-bearded Riker…and season 2 and beyond with Bearded Riker.  Season 1…kinda blah…but when Riker grew the beard, hoo-hah!  It’s completely magical.  And let’s not forget the fact that he also has a chest full of hair. 

Another example of why real men have beards and chest hair…real man Will Riker is sleeping with the hottest woman in the universe every night.  Of course before he settled down, he…like most men…had to sow his wild oats and be a manwhore.  The beard, of course, added to his sexual prowess.  In fact, the only time it even seemed to hinder him was in Insurrection when Troi flirtaciously refused to kiss him with it, claiming she had never kissed him with a beard before…which we all know is a load of bunk.  They kissed plenty of times throughout the run of the series (trust me, I know!  As an Imzadi fan, I held on to the tiny moments I got!)  Now pay attention…you’ll never hear me say this again.  This is the only time you’ll ever hear me disagree with Troi…and Marina Sirtis; both seem to prefer him with his smooth, baby face (Marina only says this in the Insurrection commentary she did with Jonathan).  And if you read the TNG A Time To…book series, you’ll see he went beardless for 3 years following Troi shaving it off him in the bubblebath (but man, what a way to lose your beard, huh?), and when he decided to grow it back out, she playfully refused to kiss him…and subsequently sleep with him…for at least 12 days.  But really…how many women seriously prefer Riker without the beard?  The beard is part of his sexiness!

The beard even follows Frakes to Gargoyles when he voiced David Xanatos.  It’s all part of the magical hotness that makes him such a force of nature.  Xanatos without the beard would still be devilishly evil…but nowhere near as charming, and thus wouldn’t be able to get away with as much as he did.

So my advice to you men out there: don’t get caught up in shaving every morning or waxing your chest.  Dare to embrace the manliness of facial and chest hair!  It worked for Riker, it can work for you!  Proudly wear the scruff…be sexy…and if you HAVE to shave, take a bubblebath with your lady and let her shave it for you.  You’ll be very glad you did!

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Posted by on October 3, 2010 in geek, Jonathan Frakes, Riker, scifi, Star Trek, TNG


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